Me, new place, new people, new job, new life

Hello, you must have been curious. I was silent for a long time, and hadn't said a word here. The thing is, I was too busy arranging and figuring out life, I have no time to write about it. For sure I have spoken about it (Poor my parents and fiancee.. huhu)

Oh, speaking about fiancee, me and the guy i ranted about before has been engaged. We expect to have our wedding next year. TBH, i was trying to be savvy so that I could save some money for my wedding. But gosh, reality hits hard. It was not an easy task. Because I have a lot of things I should consider, financially. Now I am starting to have bills, parking pass fee, car maintenance, household items and personal spending I have to take care of. Let me be honest, my salary of 1K per month doesn't allow me to have much left after all that. I am a living person, after all. the story would be different if I'm right off dead. But I'm not. I skipped my meals so many times, yet the money I have on hand is still not enough. Others don't get me. But I honestly don't get them. How do they think a woman living in the middle of the city of Kuantan to survive on mere 1K and still have anything left with her at all? Yet I couldn't say a thing, because they asked me to eat rice, egg and soy sauce for the whole one month. Yup, my parents want me to live that way when they brought me in a very different manner. Sometimes I wonder if my life, salary would stay this way. I mean, I drooled all over in the mall which is literally few steps away from my place of living, yet I can't buy a thing but cream bath on sale at watson's (RM 16 for two bottles of 1 litre, I guess). Honestly, I have been living frugally, yet still don't have enough money on me with 1K.

My parents though, they suddenly turned into a time-shifting story-teller maniacs whenever I tried to tell them that I am having it a bit hard. It always ended up like this: "Kakak tau tak, orang zaman dulu, masak nasi letak ikan masin celup sikit nak bagi ada rasa". I guess that's why my depression peaked up last time. They are not willing to listen at all. For them, feeling difficult is not humane, and I shouldn't feel it in any ways at all. Plus, don't they know that big ikan masin they were telling me in that story is only for the rich nowaays? I could only afford to eat chicken for real. Even ikan masin is so damn expensive nowadays. I can't believe I should be compared to something so expensive. Oh, and one more thing, I don't know what's wrong with my parents, but they always feel so defensive whenever I told them it is quite hard for me adjusting. They are really not the place to go if I want comfort, but I told them anyways. I guess I should stop telling them anything and keep it to myself now. Although I would feel very burdened as I could not tell anyone about what I'm feeling, I guess it's for the best. Nobody wants to know or care. I'm always a nuisance to them (mostly because I talked so honestly about everything. :)















I hope a better me would come, the one who could accept being told I'm stupid, kepala hotak, babi and everything in my face. Like the one my mom and dad wants. Maybe that's the life I deserve to have in reality. Because I'm not a good person. I don't know.













Oh, the bright side: I am in a very good place now. Even now, I am writing this blog in my office because I have sooooo many free time. And nobody treats me badly. Maybe a few, but not all. As usual, I might spend my day today playing game and sits around. Doing ethics exam. And get paid for it. Ok, that's all.... toodles!