Plot twist

Aku baru habis another pementasan. A show. Teater. Teater apa? Rahsia. Siapa yang kenal aku tahulah pementasan apa. Tapi yang pasti, pementasan ni bagi aku.... kosong. Tak, bukan pementasan tu x successful. Teater ni hebat. Grand. Tapi aku yang kosong. Heartless. Sebab aku tak redha dengan sesuatu yang hak aku yang orang sentuh sesuka hati. Berjaya... hak aku tu ramai orang suka... sebak, sedih... tapi aku? Kosong. Penciptanya aku.. bunyi macam aku... dan kalau bukan aku yang cipta aku punsuka ... tapi sebab manusia yang mungkin lupa adab bekerja... atau adab bila berurusan dengan sesuatu yang milik orang.... aku punya feeling hilang. Sejuta pujian pun aku tak rasa apa-apa. Suka tak, marah tak... sebab benda yang aku cipta tu di sentuh sana sini without my permission... and even after a great end result... it doesn't feel right anymore. It feels alien, and I'm confused if I can tell people that it belongs to me. It feels alien... far.

I spent 3 weeks doing this theater. It was fun, meeting people, bonding... the casual fun. But then I witness different colors of people. The different agendas, the different skin... And I lost trust.. I lost  heart... I lost hope. I was genuinely scared, and was genuinely being very careful...watching. People can have a very different skin behind you. All their smiles, tears, words... those are just empty. People can be scary. And I... don't know where to go.

Thankfully he was there with me. At least I can be my true self. People ask me why do I walk around looking heartless but with him I don't? The answer is easy... Because he will never hurt me the way you will. Because I trust him but not you. Because he will hold me close even if I do wrong but you will push me away. Hence I chose to be heartless. I chose to not show my real attitude. I chose not to trust too deep. That's why I seem cold. Not because I am really heartless, but because I was being careful. Because the real me might irritate you. The real me might be the worst person you've ever seen. And because not all people can accept my shit the way he does. So I chose to be heartless.

The most important thing that I gained in the end was... Don't trust too easily, don't show who you really are too easily, don't get too comfortable too easily. Because humans are not actually the way they seem to be. Because you have to be clever. Because in the end, you only got yourself and the one who decided to accept you fully in this world. And to those only, you can trust.