Is it wrong to feel this way?

   I don't know if it's just me or do people really normally miss their other significant others in the way that can not be explained by words. When you thought that you are doing well and that you've gotten past the phase of suddenly feeling a stab of pain in your heart out of nowhere. The phase where you feel so in pain, you thought you can't survive through it. But it passed, it subsided, and disappeared. And you were feeling very normal. doing everything like it was never a worry in the first place. Like it never existed.

But then, out of nowhere, it suddenly came.

To tell you the truth, I am never someone who is able to write something planned, created. If I did, it must have came with a lot of efforts. Because I, am someone who rarely care about the past and future. About what might come and what might happen. I'm someone who live in the moment. And I hate to create a story, that have a created possibility. Because, I love to live following the flow. Hence, I only write things that genuinely came from my heart. If I write about the future, I might have really hoped for that future.

To tell you honestly, I am a woman with a readable mind, readable expressions, and readable outcome. And to tell you honestly, I rarely think that people likes me. Because of who I am. Because of the way I talk, the way I present myself. But... with him, I feel like the most wonderful woman there can ever be, and that's why, I love him so much. He never took my rants lightly, but he did often told me to stop thinking about it. He got mad at me, but also tried to calm me down. He kept up with me, even when I was being terrible. And, what is most important, he is so much more than me, but he never treated me like I'm less. I just feel so complete, I want him to be by my side everyday, every moment.

   Right at this moment, today, I feel this weird longing of him. The feeling where I really want him by my side. The feeling where I can't even explain where did the sudden pain of longing came from. I never really cared, when we were not talking. Because I know how busy it is his everyday. But, I really wish he's not talking to me just because he is not in mood. Just because he doesn't feel like it. Because that will hurt, and I will feel somehow small and less important. And it's hard to say it by words to him. He would think that I'm saying petty, unimportant things. I just love him so much, I wish he will never see me as irritating. I wish I will always be that girl who makes him calm when he is miserable. Because I like it. To be important to his life. To have him crying for me when unfortunate things befallen me. To have him missing me, when I'm gone for a while, as much as I do.

  I don't know. Is it wrong to feel this way? Is it?